His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize