So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
