I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
