Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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