found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
