I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
