I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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