Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I looked at my own cervix.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
