Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
