In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize