I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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