You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
