Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
