can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
