You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
