I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
