O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
