GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
