It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
