just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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