Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
high people should be assigned attendants
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
