you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
