Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
