Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
