I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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