are you still at the devil's house?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
