I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize