There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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