The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
