i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
