maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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