It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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