my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
