between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
