a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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