Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.