This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
