I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
