I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
