Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize