Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
