Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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