YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
