i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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