She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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