I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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