My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found puke in my bra..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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