if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize