I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
