we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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