So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
