I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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