He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
