Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
