I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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