Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
