now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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