none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
