yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
