wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize