At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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